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old buddies Anonymous 07/26/2021 (Mon) 19:40:02 No. 5079
hey /late/, what happened to those friends you used to hang out with?
>>5079 still have them, but it's hard to see them in person now. on occasion i can find an opening, but schedules have a hard time coinciding right now. one guy i haven't seen in person in over two years. i'm grateful i have them, though, we still talk over text in a group chat.
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>>5079 My only friend started to fester with insecurity, at first it was really normal but overtime became really off-putting. Almost fetish like, He constantly would write stories about characters but they were all the same, nerdy book types that everyone hates for simply existing. His self insert would be comically bullied and would always be refered to as "boy". He would redirect any type of conversation to his insecurities no matter the topic. He refused any type of support and would try to manipulate it in to an attack for being himself. I then loathed him for it and told him so then left.
>>5079 Lost contact, either at all or we sometimes talk for a moment on discord or something. idk if I got weird or what, maybe they found better friends
A lot of moving made me lose contact with them. Most of them are married now. I miss them. I decided recently to make new friends. It's been awhile since I've had any but isolation is a mind killer. I get anxiety talking to people these days, but I trust it'll pass if I just keep trying, and that I'll feel more like myself again.
>>5267 >but I trust it'll pass if I just keep trying, and that I'll feel more like myself again. I was like you but stopped caring, I mean really stopped caring about anyone. Do not worry about it, friends really do go a long way. If you have weird hobbies and interests, you will see people with a like mind will come to you. Just don't reveal your powerlevel right off.
>>5079 Gradually, I deliberately drifted away from them. I think this was a combination of my refusal to socialise through social media and their own changing worldviews. Friends who had formerly simply been a joy to be around either gradually lost their personality through (in some cases highly successful) absorption into general society, or became full of spite and self-hatred in an attempt to fit into the current zeitgeist. I've been able to grow somewhat after cutting them out, but have occasional regrets. This is either a result of nostalgia for the good times we had together, or sudden pangs of loneliness. I have yet to find new friends to fill their place. Most importantly, friends who I know in ten or so years' time will create those same fond memories and feelings of nostalgia.
we all moved to different places, now there is just small talk. they have lives and things to be doing, so I understand.
fell out of contact after graduation, which was amidst the fluhan enigma they dont care to contact me, and whenever i try to reach out, i get low effort responses i have no friends
after getting accused of sexual battery in middle school ive had no freinds, since then i drifted down the rabbithole of truth i found one freind since then. thanks dillan
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Was accused of pedophilia when I was 11 by a family member with dimentia. I hadn't even sexually developed myself yet at that point. Didn't matter, my childhood friends were gone after that because they were girls and I wasn't and their mom was bipolar and incapable of critical reasoning. My next small group of friends were nice until one joined a neo-nazi gang, became a cop, and then became extremely emotionally stunted to the point that me simply telling him, "It's nice to see you after you not being around for months" resulted in him telling me, "to not make it weird." Because apparently it's unmasculine to even approach the most basic of emotional sincerity. It's not entirely his fault, his dad abused him, but that didn't change that after he and I fell out I learned all his friends who I thought were my friends were in reality just accessories to him that ghosted me thereafter. Around that time I met some nice people but the intimacy is partially lost. They're later adolescent friends that were always somewhat distant due to having life responsibilities that have only amplified with time meaning I have less and less time with them these days. Two of them did help me move though, so I can't say they don't care and I'll do my best to be there for them if they need me. I won't hold my breath at long term prospects though. The only other friends I have are online. 3 british lads I play games with once every week or so. Otherwise I've got no one at this point.
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>>6068 Apologies for the doublepost. This goes to out to my old friend, though I'll never see him again. >I miss you Miloje.
>>6069 I used to also have a friend named Miloje who took his life in 2020. Rest in peace.
>>5079 Sorry for the major text block >Born in English/French speaking North America to immigrants >Grew up in household with extremely demanding parents >Father was too busy pulling in 6 figures and so was mom >Only role models was an Lost gen man who was from WY. >Taught me everything from political and economic theory to how to shoot and grill. >Spoke often about the Injun raids when he was younger and hated the .gov with passion >He died around when I was 14, two mourners at the furneral, I was one >Only allowed to interact with certified (tm) people since parents are overly agressive >Affluent school is 99% not okay for them so I don't get to interact with anyone >Only two friends, both drifted away because parents' jobs >Everyone I now know are from from parents friend circle children,all 7-15 years older than me >Don't get along well cause age gap. >Socially awkward throughout the school years because always more "mature" >Favorite games got acquired by EA/Ubisoft so sadface >Played competitive sports with a a bunch of wetbacks >Did decently >Wetbacks got heavy into gang culture/drugs and I think half the teams dead or in prison >Meanwhile, first crush was bipolar so I quickly noped out of there >Second crush turned out to be a Muslim and noped out of there before I got my head chopped off for both of us >Move to Asia for job >Become fluent in native language >Get no native friends from there because realized everyone was trying to jew me out for my citizenship >Best friends are a Perkele, Swiss, and a Hong Konger expat >Dumbest of the friends, but also the most "mature" >Move back to the US to finish HS for easier admissions to college, friends all leave >Get put in an inner city school by parents because "You need to see how retarded bangers are" >Use social media for a bit, then reject it for being electronic opiates. >I don't recognize the state/city I grew up in since its filled with Californians and people from NYC. >Trump just got elected >Can't interact with classmates cause woke and inner city school >Living alone since sophomore year >Stoneman Douglas shooter happens >Refuse to protest with others, get called a "perpetrator of white supremacy and violence" >Get called "basically white" for following proper etiquette >Get called uneducated because of my local accent >Get called racist for believing in merit >Get called sexist for pointing out that genders are not inherently equal >Get told the Perkele offed himself a few weeks later during winter >Two people touched my hat as a "prank" so I whooped their asses with a pair of scissors >Get suspended because school can't expel their third highest performing student (other two are also same race, probably there for same reason I was, unfortunately extremely woke) >Call up the other friends to tell them >Swiss busy with their version of Harvard >HKer went to college in leafland and she went full woke and self hating so rip. >College comes around >Get shit by left leaning teachers/students not being a socialist >Get shit on by the preachers/"conservatives" for not being a Christian/ Trump train rider >Join the volunteer fire department to volunteer >Filled with boomers who get mad at everything >Said boomers also rabid "god emperor trump" tier retards like the one at the capitol "insurrection" >Meet one friend who's from a ranch out in TX >Random "Good Catholic" girl (an ex) accuses him of rape >WTF.jpg because he's gay >He's expelled and convicted with rape even though only evidence was something that happened a year before the accusation >Same girl then tried seduce me >Refuse because I'm not dumb >Accuses me of rape >No expulsion/charges because CCTV evidence of the date of accusation >Tries to convert me to Jesus afterwards >Got revenge by getting her jailed for prescription drug abuse and weapons charge (I don't agree with the latter but...) >Visit the friend in prision >Corona comes around >Boomers fuck off because scared of corona >Most young people fuck off because scared of corona >There's about 6 people running EMS/Fire for a major 15 mi stretch of US highway/ populated area >Burnt out and tired >One of my close friends and mentors dies from freak case of a car accident >Down to 5 responders >HK friend hung herself a few weeks ago >Not allowed to go to funeral because muh covid restrictions >Friend in prison appeal accepted and he's getting out a few weeks from now Now days, I spend my daytime working, stocking up ammo, and volunteering. I get some news that filters through me about the shenanigans on the webs like that "model" selling farts and I realize I live in clown world.
>>5079 FUCK me. I need to call my manager and ask for another week of work. I loved (at least two of) the people I worked with, but I never got their contacts because I refused to use a phone. I'm thinking I need to get a shitty dumbphone and call him ASAP to work at least another week. But I only want to work if my frens still work there, and they said they were thinking of quitting... Would it be bad if I just called him to ask if they still work there, or would that sound gay? FUCK
One became this insufferable nerd type who's into star wars and shit and makes boomer posts on facebook. You know the type. (We were friends as teens and he never fucking cared about star wars or any of that nerd shit, even I knew more star wars and I didn't like star wars) The other one just disappeared. Some google magic and I found him on some company website being some white collar normie. His father was a cool alternative artist kind of guy who always tried to share his world with him but it was wasted on the guy. Me, I'm still a neet even though I'm pushing my 40s. They couldn't follow me where I was going. Probably better for them. Although in the last few years I feel less and less bad about my choice to never have a career or much of anything as it looks like the world is going to shit for all of us anyways. Wish I had more years. I'd also spend them doing nothing. It's fun.
>>6121 kind of sad on your part, don't you have any regrets?
>>6128 Wish I would've had more money sometimes but only sometimes because my life made me learn that you can be happy with little. (after growing up with wealthy middle class boomers and living significantly "richer" but not happier) Nowadays you can get endless entertainment and practice every skill imaginable for free or almost free, and a lot of hobbies basically cost nothing/pay for themselves/turn a profit. Especially in electronics even the cheap no-name lowend crap is actually really nice quality often, just less retard-proof. As that white collar normie I would've had the money but not the time and wouldn't have a fraction of the knowledge I have now. Like everything in life it was a trade-off. I much rather wanted the time and freedom and don't regret having it at all. Also as a 20 year old neet you're an undateable outsider and might as well be radioactive, then the farther you get into your 30s the more women think that you're actually really fucking interesting with your book reading and outsider lifestyle compared to Jeff from accounting who really tries to get that assistant manager to be able to make two vacations a year and who's always 'stressed' and drinks to forget that stress at least sometimes. (and maybe can't get it up anymore because of his shitty lifestyle, I heard enough stories) You get to fuck a lot but eventually they'll try to "fix" you, and that's your signal to get out. Don't regret any of that either, actually still riding that wave but it's not as important anymore and I do understand that my days there are counted. I dunno, I'm pretty happy. Only pain right not is not wanting to drop the money on a graphics card, hahaha. I also worry a bit about my latest shipment of LSD but eh, it'll come. I need to get into shrooms.
Life made people move away. Work, need to discover new places... My best friend is in another country, visit him from time to time (difficult since covid). Other good friend live in another part of the country, we manage to meet during vacations. Lots of people I usually spend time with were not so valuable friends, more buddies. I'm quite a loner so I don't meet lot of new people, not people I want to be friend with. I'm ok with this.
>>5079 I jumped around from school to school a lot as a kid, so I never got to form any long-term relationships. I still have a couple high-school friends on my friend's lists, but I have not talked to them in ages and don't really have any desire to. My best friend, whom I met online 5 or 6 years ago, is no longer with me. I wish I could connect with somebody on that level again, but I have since learned that it is not only futile but also unfair to expect the type of intimacy the two of us had out of a friend. That was really a rare type of connection, and while I hope to someday find one like it again, it's not healthy to go seeking a replacement for somebody you've lost in every stranger you meet. These days I do my best to content myself with being a loner, though I find it very difficult at times. Sometimes I read posts here and elsewhere from people claiming that they are happier on their own, or at least comfortable, and I have to wonder if they are lying to themselves or if it is really possible for another human to be so fundamentally different from me for that to be true. All of my experiences in life have taught me that humans are deeply social creatures and nobody can escape the burden of loneliness, no matter how introverted or socially apathetic they may be. But perhaps I am wrong. I suppose it doesn't really matter, because that's not the kind of trait you would be able to change and I don't know if I would want to even if I could.
>>6222 Same. I both like having friends and despise/can't handle being around people. It's a real joke of an existence for us socially starved hikkis. I think its possible that some extremely rare group of people genuinely don't require socialization, but most are probably lying to themselves. All apes evolved to be social creatures, you sort of just go insane after being isolated for extended periods, which is a big factor in why solitary confinement is considered a form of torture.
>>6225 >I think its possible that some extremely rare group of people genuinely don't require socialization, but most are probably lying to themselves. All apes evolved to be social creatures, you sort of just go insane after being isolated for extended periods, which is a big factor in why solitary confinement is considered a form of torture. Yeah, it seems to be a spectrum with very few outliers who are truly asocial. I have schizoid tendencies, but even then I couldn't stand having absolutely no human interaction.
>>6225 I enjoy being a loner but I also enjoy spending time out of my home meeting peolpe or just spending time with strangers (doing sport, going to a concert or just drinking a beer outside). I'm not always socializing a lot with them and turning this to friendship is difficult but it's good for my mental balance.
>>6225 >I both like having friends and despise/can't handle being around people. It's a real joke of an existence for us socially starved hikkis. Honestly I enjoy being around people casually (aside from the ones I dislike, obviously). I feel like I am genetically an extrovert that has been conditioned into introversion through life experiences and deeply seated habits that are hard to undo. Getting/being close to people is really stressful though, yet I can't help but yearn for it despite how unpleasant it can be for me at times, so I can relate there.
>>5079 They're still there. I was the one that went away (moved here in Murica) We still have memories that we treasure as I'm with those guys when we were kids. Treated them like family (used to call them my cousin and back to me!) I miss them. A lot. Now here I am, joined the Navy because I didn't know what to do with my life
>>5079 nothing really. most of the people i talk to nowadays are online folks but i still have my fair share of irl friends i interact with. i moved away maybe ~1-2 years or so back, i don't remember exactly when. however, i didn't move far and only went a single city away. it's just a little more of a chore to get to their place to hang out and what not.
I still have my old friends from school. Unfortunately, as time passes, the less interest I have in them. As bad as it sounds, I was only really friends with them out of circumstance. Clinging to the few similarities I could find. I had moved from a dense area to a rural area. I didn't have many options for people to be around. I'm older now. I don't really have such a strong want for individual friends, but rather to be a part of and contribute to a community that I love.
Aspie I knew in 9th grade doesn’t respond to my messages or anyone else’s now. Other old HS friends mostly still keep in contact with, but I always sort of felt like a tag-along. They rarely spoke directly to me first about anything.
>>5079 i dont know, i had to stop going to school after i got some health problems. never kept in contact with those friends, so i guess they just forgot about me. i could probably find them on social media, but its best for me to just let it go
>>5079 >friend went to another HS and got busy from then on, even after graduating college >one moved, doesn't respond to texts when I message him on occasion to ask how things are going >one I lost contact with when my phone died (pre-smartphone) >the rest just got busy or we drifted apart I don't know how I made friends growing up. I find it easier to lose friends now than to make them. I was never social but liked having at least a small group to play games with. I try connecting with new people but nothing seems to last. Now I'm just accepting being alone at this point.
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>>6089 This is one of those existentialist novels that simply ends with no clear resolution or moral. It would be too much to hope you're doing good, but I at least hope you're doing OK. Same goes for everyone else in this thread.
Are you supposed to always chase after friends in order to maintain them? All the "friends" I had (or thought I had) never reached out to me when I dipped. Like the primary source of what I called friends was school and when I changed it (but still remained in the same city) I basically never heard from them again. And this was a pattern every time stuff like this happened. So were they really friends or just people that I know? Maybe I should be always the one who go after them when we just don't see each other for other reason (like class?) I never understood this type of stuff in friendships.
>>6979 >Are you supposed to always chase after friends in order to maintain them? yes. friends are just a social tool that we use to benefit ourselves, and avoid feeling lonely. if you move to a different school, then there's not really a point in keeping the old friends you had. there are exceptions of course (best friends), but almost all of your friends should just be treated as acquaintances. think about how many former friends you had during your childhood that you have moved on from.
>>6979 Unfortunately yes. Only one friend reached out to me years after we stopped talking but nothing came up again. The other times I try to reach out to them again but nothing ever happens. >>6980 It honestly amazes me that some people can keep friendships past 10 years or from young kids/elementary school. It's so easy to lose old friends when you drift apart or just grow up differently. As a kid, moving 2 cities over felt like the end of the world knowing the couple friends I had wouldn't be at the same school as me.
>>5079 I've lost most of them over time. We grew apart, moved, went to different schools/colleges, etc. Trying to reach out to them again led nowhere. I'm down to 2 friends who also have no other friends. We speak every other week. At least I'll be the groomsman for one of them in August. Probably the closest I'll ever be to being the center of a wedding to the disappointment of my family.
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>>5079 My best friend bullied the fuck out of me and told me to give up on my dreams of making games or doing anything with technology. That made me so depressed I completely dropped everything and began drinking heavily and ended up taking anti-depressants to replace the alcohol after I realized I was putting down like 3/4 a bottle in the middle of the week. I am such a huge pussy for letting an absolute fag like that bring me down so low, about 3 months ago I began lifting and working at some job trying to get back out there and make new friends. I started chasing certificates to get promoted to a better IT spot and, generally, have been trying my fucking hardest to fix a bunch of messed up shit in my life. So far it's been working with mixed results and I feel at this point there is really no going back. To me that feels pretty good. I feel free. There really is a point where it's much better to let relationships naturally drift apart and move on before you or your friend change too much and end up hating what you become. Thanks for the thread guys, it helps.
I haven't seen or spoken to my old high school friends in years. I'm getting let go from my current job at the end of the month, so I plan to take time off for a road trip. I hope I can say hi to some of them on my current planned route, but I’m treating it as a bonus because I expect them to either ignore me, claim they’re busy, or just say no outright. If I can get lunch with at least 1 of them I’ll consider that a success. Even if I see none of them, my original plans of sight-seeing and camping won’t change.
>>7340 >There really is a point where it's much better to let relationships naturally drift apart and move on before you or your friend change too much and end up hating what you become. I learned this the hard way. I tried too hard to keep friends that weren't compatible after growing up and apart. (Figuratively and literally.) It sucks we couldn't stay friends, but I don't regret the fun times we had together.
Most of the ones I've had either moved away, my family moved us away from them (back before any of us had our own phones), they threw me under the bus for their own gain, or just moved ahead with their own lives in becoming adults. Supposedly, I still have two left, but it's increasingly feeling like zero. One rarely has time to hang out, never initiates communication, and doesn't want to do anything to maintain the bond we've had since I was in late elementary (so almost eighteen years now). The other disappeared for like a month recently, rarely even talks to me now after coming back, half of what little discussion we've had since are just me being asked questions that feel more like insults about my character, won't explain what happened, and won't even acknowledge my wanting to catch up on what's been going on in both our lives. I really don't know what to make of it. No other vectors for me to make friends anymore, and even if I had one, there's too much wrong with me physically and mentally to trust anyone to stick around once they know about it. I've felt like those two up there have (had?) only been doing so because they knew me before things got to this point. >>6979 Chase? No, that can come off as being invasive and prying. Show interest in their lives, and if they live nearby, do things together occasionally? Yes. Granted, a lack of communication doesn't necessarily mean a lack of interest, since some people do simply get busy with their jobs or starting families of their own, but it still creates a decaying state leading into complete indifference. My parents have said before that it's completely natural, and to be expected, because that's how adult life is. >Maybe I should be always the one who go after them when we just don't see each other for other reason (like class? That could help, but you have figure out if they're the sort to be receptive or not. Actually kept one of the above from anheroing some years ago in doing that, after not having spoken since the end of high school. Still, a friendship (or any relationship, really), should be a two way street. One party shouldn't be the only one trying to keep a connection going.
>>7435 Your friend situation sounds similar to mine. I can't get a hold of a friend I've known for 15 years. Even another mutual friend who's known him since they were 5 can't seem to get a response from him in the past couple months, on top of the rare communication in the past couple years. We don't know what's going on but I'm tempted to give up. It honestly just seems like he doesn't care much about us at this point. He's not as busy as we are but remains far more secretive. It makes me wonder if he doesn't want to be with us anymore, or if he's busy with something he's not comfortable with sharing. It's hard to say though if he never responds to at least just say he's busy, unavailable, or just not interested in whatever we're trying to do.
>>7435 >Contact latter to see if we can hang out or even just catch up this weekend. >Claims to have too many appointments to take care of; doesn't offer any sort of plan for subsequent weekends. >Ask if I can at least drop by and get some stuff I'd loaned out back, and pay back some money I'd been spotted some months ago. >Says they'll be dropped off at my place instead, and to just keep what I owe. I don't think I'm welcome over there anymore. >>7451 >if he's busy with something he's not comfortable with sharing. Could be a sense that you and your other friend wouldn't approve of it. I know with the former of the two I mentioned, there's a lot I have to keep from him as to what I watch or play, since he's very much evolved into a "failed normalfag", including adopting their "sensibilities". Despite him being on imageboards for as long as I've been (which is to say a long time), there's a lot he just can't stand, which includes something I work on, both as a hobby and to give back to the community (a project of which the latter voiced approval of). Just another component of our drifting apart the last five or so years. But I do get the feeling that the latter's got something going on that I'm not meant to know about; something that happened suddenly. I just wish I knew what was going on, but I don't think I'm likely to get answers. Anyhow, I suppose if you (or your mutual friend) have been on good terms with the guy's family as well over the years, you might consider contacting one of them and just asking if they know what's up. Though, that also has the risk of overstepping boundaries. Some people are cool with it, and if they find out, appreciate one going that far out of concern, but others aren't.
>>7453 The thing is, we do ask his parents once in a while what he's up to. Even his parents don't know what's going on. He just doesn't talk much.
>>5079 I still hang out with a few of my friends, and I have made a few work friends. I lost about half of my small friend group because one half of us sorta mellowed out and grew out of the super edgy annoying humor and chan type culture (I'm here cuz im stoned and down a rabbit hole.) It really sucks sometimes, I miss their energy but one of them never changed from freshman year and another just became so dedicated to being and making everyone around them miserable that it just go draining to be around. It didn't help that the miserable dude would shit talk people in the group he thought were annoying behind their backs. I'm rambling, I miss them but also I don't. It's just weird growing up
Loneliness is real, time to accept that most of you have learnt flaws that prevent you from making friends with good people. The flaws you have learnt are wide and different, but the result is the same, you end a relationship because media, someone or yourself told you to drop the relationship. Many times it's fear. You are probably going to hate me for this because what I'm saying sounds gay or the tone is weird or whatever but If you think back to childhood music you may remember that many good song artists make songs about being extremely lonely. Please for the love of God drop your trained slave mentality, open up.
>>5173 End fear, it kills relationships, do not be afraid. Stop jealous friend mentality that prevent you from making new friends. Stop dropping a friendship because of 1 bad thing the friend has. You will not find the perfect person, each person in the 20 year old range has 7300 days experience, they have 7000 different experiences. Don't end relationships with different people. You are at the point where everybody is vastly different. Don't avoid saying things because you're scared somebody else won't like it.
>>7453 >Former drops by with stuff as agreed too. >Actually stays for a while, is happy to see me, and invites me to come over to hang out. >Have a good time together, same as months ago. >Turns out to have been editing some 100+ page manuscript over and over again, on top of family stuff, work, and looking for a better job, all using whatever spare time's been available. >Mention I had no idea anything but the family stuff was going on. >"Huh, I thought I told you all that". Certainly went better than I was expecting, but even with being stressed out from that, I don't think being asked insulting sounding questions and such was called for. At the very least, I'm getting a lot more communication there these days. >>7467 Well, if he hasn't seemed like he's been needing someone to reach out, it might be best to put him aside and let him be the one to contact you guys next if he feels like it. Only so much you can do without becoming annoying.
>>7484 Underrated post.
>>5093 have you gotten better? i'm struggling with alcohol addiction also. you sound like you're going to make it on your own regardless. you may still need help and a community. how can we help? personally, i'd like to know you and let our adventures be a further allegory to why i musn't consoom alcohol. still the nights seem to foster themselves and their surroundings and their adventures in front of us. give me music stuff, movie stuff, or just some adventures into your own life. i'd like to hear about how you're doing
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>>5079 I simply just stopped talking to them after a good while. Happens to the best of us.
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met up with old high school friend last night, learned about the fate of a bunch of my classmates >friend has job at local advertising agency and does volunteer work at local church >good chunk of the girls are married >one girl that i "dated" (fucked up at every possible turn because retard) changed her name and is now nonbinary lol >other girl is in NYC and works as an art curator at a museum >other guys finished college and generally at a crossroads >other friends that i hang out with are still living with their parents >one does video work for local church >other has internetship at laboratory >other tested out of high school because he was too smart for it, now doing online college courses >other doing security system installs on commission (which from how he describes his payment structure sounds miserable) overall I figured there'd be more failures but apparently it sounds like I'm in the middle in terms of success. had a shitty past month or so but things are looking up. also realized that my FOSSfaggotry is a barrier to meeting friends (i.e. my refusal to use proprietary programs/services). eventually just said fuck it and installed bumble, it's both a dating app and a platform for just making friends. already have about five or so matches so i guess i'm not as insufferable as i appear. might talk with them a bit more and see where it goes, but also planning on moving out of state soon so there might not be much of a point.
>>7697 >FOSSfaggotry Fuck this shit, if youre doing something illegal or secret use tor then for everyday stuff just use what others do. Its not worth wasting social chances for some ideology, be practical about it. The jews know that you masturbate already anyway


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