on depression.. do you people think it can be genes related?
i'm sorry i don't know how to put it, and i hope i don't offend anyone.
Some years ago after a family member took their own life, i was reading and watching documentaries about suicides. Depression got mentioned, and about how it could be passed down through generation. In some case studies, it is noticed that if a family has a history of members from each generation have depression (and took their lives), the same will be for future generations.
Another particular thing i read is that, sometimes genetic traits, like having double eyelids or blue iris, could be hidden or skipped one or a few generations before showing up in later generation.
My thought is, it might be the same for depression, that members of previous generation does not depression, but current generation are susceptible to it, especially given being in certain condition/environment. From what i understand, thought, research on this area is still unconclusive, so.. i'll just leave it as my own thought.
What about me?
well i don't know man, i'm pretty anti-social alright. IRL i'm just want to be left on my own, unless i really like u as a person. Even that, i prefer to just listen to others talk, than to be made to do small talks which ultimately adds up or contributes to nothing other than the so-called "socialising".
For that family member, we both are pretty much the same character. Am i worried? i can't say for sure. The day when i got the news, the very first thought on my mind was "shit, they did it before me".
I'm slowly creeping towards 40, still doesn't live like a proper working adult (as the society i live in expect of people my age group). That family member's death casted a faint shadow on my family, and i can see (and appreciate) them making sure i'm feeling ok.
AS of now i'm making some time to write.. sort of my "last words". Of cos i hope it would one which i would finish, and occasionally update it. i do have thoughts of death, however i can still say for sure i'm not suicidal. There're still childhood dreams and desires, even some are definitely impossible given how the world is now, to look forward to.