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Anonymous 03/13/2021 (Sat) 03:28:46 No. 3172
I hate using this board to vent about my frustrations as I want this place to be comfy, and there's already a similar thread here, but that's already a few months old, so I wanted to make a new one. Lately I've been thinking of offing myself again. It's been a long time since I thought about it so persistently. I have a few ideas as to how I'd want to go, but the thing that makes me want to kill myself is the futility of everything. Simply put, what even is the point of living in a world where evil triumphs? Where it has already won, and has been winning for so, so many years. Doing whatever it wants. Psychopaths run everything and do what they can to remain in absolute power and control. They don't want to rule. They just want power. I wish I was more whitepilled right now, but the past year and what's going on in my country for the past couple of months has shown me that evil really has triumphed. It's so fucking sad. All the tales and stories of heroism, both in fiction and true stories, seem to suddenly hold no weight to that realization. There probably never were heroes in the first place. Or maybe we should've continued to worship Greek heroes who were more of an embodiment of virtue than 'saviors', but even then, a world where evil triumphs is a world where there is no virtue or morality. Nothing really matters. Not even all the power that they seem to desperately want to consolidate seems to matter. A part of me wants to believe that eventually we'll cross beyond the nihilism and start living in some kind of bizarro wild west where everything becomes so utterly oppressive that it's more beneficial to live underground/outside the 'system' than actually trying to get something out of it. There has to be something beyond all of this, right? It won't be the end of history. I don't want to see more friends and people I love living undignified lives under depression. I don't want to live being afraid that I'll never be able to take care of myself or find a place to live, or make money, or do something besides work. I'm lucky I finished college and work a freelance profession where the only thing holding me back from having more income is myself, but I don't care much about my job and sometimes even hate it. It doesn't help that some of what I do actively benefits the exact same psychopaths I detest so much. Maybe it's just because my mindset is influenced too much by the present and I'm not being forward thinking enough. I thought about making plans to try and move to the countryside someday, but will I even manage to find a home for myself? Will I even manage to find any place in this world for myself at all, both physically and metaphysically? I just can't see the point of it all. It's like whatever ounce of hope and faith I have is crushed every day, mercilessly. I can only withstand the pain of living through distractions, even if I do genuinely enjoy them. And drinking. I just don't see a way out. It really is as if evil as triumphed and heroism and virtue are nothing more than well-constructed lies to appease us. What even is the point? Why even live? I tried so hard to have faith in things. Believing that maybe I could at least try and enjoy the smaller things in the world. But the weight of everything is so crushing. Thinking that the world we live in is utterly fucked and that it will affect my future destroys whatever positive prospects I might have. I can't even immerse myself in anything anymore because I know that's what awaits me. More pain, more anxieties, more depression, desperation, never knowing when things will be alright. And to think there's people out there who actively benefit of most of humanity being in such a state. What is the point of it all? Why even live?
>>3172 I've been having similar thoughts. It feels like nothing we can do will make any positive difference. The political system is a complete sham, and anyone who tries to speak out is likely to attract the attention of the feds or other authority figures looking to crush dissenters and ruin people's lives. It wouldn't surprise me if the government started making use of a gulag-like system in the future. On the positive side, there's going to be such a large amount of clueless normalfags getting "canceled" in the future that some kind of underground network is going to have to spring up by necessity. On top of that, technology is progressing so fast that life could become completely unrecognizable from what we know today within our lifetimes. Whether it'll be for better or worse I don't know, but things like privacy rights will almost certainly fall by the wayside if that's the case. All that's assuming that our energy needs will be met and that we don't have a social or ecological collapse though. The situation is looking dire, to say the last.
>>3203 I think we just need to get 86 year olds out of office so we can tackle new world issues, not the same stuff over and over, especially with technology (similar to how the EU has Right to be forgotten and GDPR) Your best option is to just become a vagabond traveler and enjoy nature before it becomes overrun, or fall in love. Just kidding what do I know, I sound fucking retarded
>>3172 >Why even live? Because while we live there's opportunity. In death there is nothing. Not a chance. Not 1e-999%. We've made countless strides in humanity for good. Slavery, murder, rape, etc. All much, MUCH more difficult to get away with than say 3000 years ago, just as examples. Work with me, anon. Work with us. Please. There are people thousands of years into the future who are DESPERATE. Who are BEGGING us: "Please, for the love of God, DON'T GIVE UP!"
im just here for the porn and video games really im not that important to do great shit so i'll just stay in my little room jacking off to random shit till i wither away forgotten by everyone
All I have to say is, killing yourself is denying the fact that one day you too can be happy. No matter what happens one day or another you'll feel joy again. Feeling like shit is the worst but you should never cut yourself to the future by killing yourself.
It's like this world is designed to make people feel helpless, and it's a system some people can't survive in. Automation. No contact info. Over development. Over legislation. Geotracking. Car breakdowns. Shadowbans. Deplatforming. Planned obsolescence. Quarantine. Algorithms. Echo chambers. Impossible Captchas. News outlets. Megacorps. Smog. Bullshit. It's all bullshit. It's not all designed to kill, but bits and pieces are, and whether it is or not the effects are the same. No agency. It will kill us, and the people in power will be glad when it does, because we're just like their ancestors. The ones that got them somewhere above all of the bullshit. The asphixiation. But we'll never have a chance at happiness. There's a pit of hell custom fitted especially for those who need to be free. I don't think suicide will save me from my misery, I know I'll find a way to be miserable anywhere I go, even if that's nowhere.
>>3381 You can ignore most of that stuff though. And for the rest, you can still resist, drag your heels, and do everything to sabotage them. In other words, don't play by their rules.
>>3172 I'm trying to sell all my valuable posessions before I go. My parents have been having a rough time with bills. If I don't go through with it then hey, at least I'll be a minimalist.
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>>3461 Pretty soon you'll end up like me. Suppose I should warn you though. This is a very deep rabbit hole that nobody has ever come out of.
>>3205 What motivates me to keep going is curiosity to see just how crazy things are going to get in the next few decades. >>3462 Those normalfag games are good stuff.
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>>3463 Why would I waste my time playing those casual games when I can instead play obscure masterpices like Argh! ARGH is simple to learn but hard to master. ARGH doesn't require a fancy gaming rig, and in fact runs perfectly on any old PC with a color monitor and floppy disk drive.
>>3464 Because they're fun. I also wouldn't call Civilization "casual." The Civilization games might not be as complex as Paradox's releases,for example, but it's they're not babby-level games either.
>>3462 the only thing i have left at this point is my thinkpad, time to install dos
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Well I went back to check this out, and it's much worse than I thought! > 640k required Can you say "bloat"? Most 8-bit computers only got 1/10 of that, and better games too. > EGA/VGA/Tandy graphics Oh yeah, keep upgrading that GPU, stay on the treadmill, LOL! > mouse recommended Bah! If they can't design a proper keyboard interface, then it's not worth my time. Fuck'em.

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