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rotten wills and dreams Anonymous 03/14/2021 (Sun) 16:18:31 No. 3241
for people being lazy, sloth and dreams never being achieved rotting and festering in the mind never fully disappearing because you'll "do it one day"
>>3241 Oh damn, learning how to draw. I've had this one for a long time
>>3243 this hits home pretty bad
>>3241 are you speaking from experience?
At this point it's not procrastination but a lack of self-confidence. I don't even have enough of it to practice making things. Never really have either, so despite knowing how to code and make music since my early teens, I've got barely anything to show for it.
>>3250 maybe
I lost my will when my gf died 10 years ago. I've gone through my 20's trying to reach and grab it along with my dreams. Every time i work hard and get close to something its like my mind and body shut off and start backpedaling. Like i'm fearful of something. The society we're living on doesn't give my any sort of motivation either. I don't want to be recognized nor want to achieve something for someone else other than me. I found the company of that one girl to be the most satisfying thing on earth. I had found the purpose in working to give her everything. I didn't give a single shit about myself. Ever. And that's probably it. "One day" though.
It's tough to put the work in when there's no sense of urgency or meaning. Even if, for example, your dream is to be an artist, at what point does it stop being something you're just fucking around with, and become an actual passion that means something to you? And I wonder if that "meaning" is just such a foreign concept that a lot of people just can't grasp it at all now.
>>3627 I have realized this in my mid 20's. I always liked drawing and had been pushed to pursue a career but never had the drive to do so. I couldn't tell you i never felt like i wanted to make it and "change" the industry but it wasn't a driving force. It was a nice dream, but there was nothing else latching onto it. The passion driving people pursuing the arts (whatever it may be) seems borderline autistic at times. There's an urgency in their acts. Like they need to expres themselves this way, to leave a mark in the short life span we share as humans. Spending 10+ hours on your craft, forgetting everything else and focusing on what you are making, your deadlines, etc... I really didn't feel like i wanted to do that. You also realize people in their 20's pursuing the arts burn their youth for that goal in mind. You have more energy, are more naïve and prone to jump into the unknown. >at what point does it stop being something you're just fucking around with, and become an actual passion that means something to you? Most artists talk about this. The reason vary but almost all share the thread of wanting to express themselves and grasping people's attention with your way of expressing your emotions. Being admired, having money... Maybe the alienation a lot of us feel towards society is a hindrance for the development of our artistic capabilities. Some people don't have what it takes to make it. And on the division of people that do make it there's the ones that get successful and the ones that fail, maybe because they lack the talent or maybe there's other things that come into play. The only things i had truly felt passion for never involved work or the acquisition of money.
Submit to the archons, sophia, gnosis, will never shine upon you, children....
>>3241 I'm not suicidal per say, but I wouldn't care if worst cam to worst. I think the only thing I'm hopeful for in the future is space exploration. Other than that, everything is just shitty false promises, and warped perceptions of how it really is.

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