I loved a girl that played with my emotions for 3 years. In the end I finally gave up on her and it took a good year or so to recover. I would be lying if I said I hadn't looked out my window too many times during that year.
Yet, despite being a NEET even I later somehow how found love and we've been together for 3 years. There is hope! You have to make it through this though, it can only get better if you pull yourself forward. This guy isn't worth your life, he doesn't love you if he's off with some other girl without your consent. Don't give your life for someone who doesn't deserve it!
Cry, wail, run, scream, do whatever until your center returns. But don't die!
Wrong board anon. That eternal september you're part of is on another site.